The Beauty of Story

We zig and we zag and we loop here and there, ever evolving ever in motion

A gloriously wonderful dangerous old woman and crone, my mother.

Recently, I have revisited the wisdom of the writings of Clarissa Pinkola Estes and have gotten lost in the Dangerous Old Woman Series on audible. These resonate so deeply with me. I love how Estes uses story as a teacher; a means to impart wisdom. I believe this is very much a large part of our history as humans; story as means to impart truths, warnings, and knowledge. I also love how stories zig and zag and change as they take on a life of their own over the centuries and generations of story tellers.

As a child I would get lost in the world of fairytale, fable, and story and, being a child with a very active imagination, I lived in those stories. I also often changed the outcome in my own imagination. And, of course, the settings were transferred to my landscape of wide open wheat fields and bluest of skies. No forests to get lost in, but acres of wild deep canyons and rocky bluffs of basalt jutting out of the ground and dotted with caves. Off I would go, the heroine of my latest story, older brothers fulfilling necessary roles as needed. My two older brothers were mainly the builders of my magical kingdoms with multistoried playhouses, wooden post forts, and tunnels burrowed into the hay loft. Nothing was beyond our combined imagination. Nature as the backdrop was a given with innumerable acres as a playground.

But the stories, oh how they changed and took different shapes as I stepped out into the straight jacket of the world beyond my carefree childhood. My imagination and freedom of thought were not characteristic to be nurtured or developed I was often sternly reminded. But yet even in this twisted upside down world, my inner need for story persisted. It was story that comforted me when the outside world was too much to bear. It held me up when the world was tearing me down for feeling too much and too deeply. Story soothed when I was ridiculed for being a daydreamer and believing in magic.

As a crone I have come to recognize the power and necessity of story. How our stories are made up of many many stories and how important it is to always hold on to that story which is ours, our birthright as it is. In my early 60s I put my story on paper, yet as time has passed, I have recognized it is just a shell of my true story. There is so much depth and breadth to a human life and we are more than what we can see of ourselves. This delving into my own story came at a time when I was losing one of those older brothers. This dance with death opened all the siblings up to deeper communication and a return to our childhood selves. Through this I was given an outside perspective, a view through the eyes of both my older brothers, my cohorts in my earliest stories.

I write these snippets for my grandchildren. I want them to find and grow their own stories and to build them up stronger and with more surety than I possessed. I desire for them to understand that if we do not like our current story, we have all the power to change it, to create a new story. I desire them to know we can pick out the best of our story/selves. But more importantly that our best story/self is most probably not what the world around us sees as valuable. Yet to have the surety to remain in their own story, to not change or mold the story to fit the outside world’s expectations. We are all one of a kind, unique, and truly wondrous. So may we all embrace that and walk out in the world sure footed and clothed in our unique wondrous selves!

On the Homefront:

Finished up some fun little Valentine Day projects. The adorable Bean Bottom dolls by the late Elinor Peace Bailey. They are just the cutest thing ever and I have made many over the years. My sewing has taken a nostalgic bent as I have been cutting and sewing on dolls from the time period of the 80s and 90s when I owned a quilt shop in Cali. So many happy happy memories of my mom and I sewing up all these patterns to use in the shop as samples. Currently working on some dolls from Dreamspinner patterns.

Work has been rewarding and enjoyable. I have been enjoying this new marketing director position so much and made a great new friend who has introduced me to a wonderful knitting group. I have really been enjoying that and actually getting a lot done on my current project. Having friends and work to keep me busy helps me when I am missing my girls and grands so very much.

Celebrating Imbolc and the return of light as I continue to enjoy celebrating the wheel of the year with an emphasis on the natural changing of the seasons according to natures time table. While on a walk looking for signs of life returning to the earth, I happened upon this beautiful rainbow. I love it when there is a complete arch. As a child I remember so vividly chasing after the end of the rainbow, running across the open field just sure if I could capture it there would be treasure. Little did I understand that the treasure was the nature and our beautiful planet.

I have been busy reading fiction a lot lately, which I usually don’t manage to do as I seem to always be deep in nonfiction. However, it has been so enjoyable! I got hooked on the Lois Meade mystery series by Ann Purser and am totally hooked. I just finished the first 7 and ordered the next 7. While waiting I took a break and read The Delirious Burning Blue a novel by the brilliant Sharon Blackie. I have read and reread every book Sharon has written but had missed this novel, an earlier work of hers. Wow was it an emotional ride and so well written! I read it nearly straight through in two days as I could not put it down.

And that is it on the home front, keeping busy. And now off to play again with the dolls that are coming to life with each stitch.

Blessings!

Patricia