The last two weeks have been a frenzy of packing, moving, and cleaning. I am quite used to packing and moving, as I have done more than my fair share. But this move was the absolute worst for several reasons. Being in a small apartment there was no place to stack boxes so everything was just a constant mess of clutter, and well I do not do well with clutter stacked everywhere. Then all boxes had to be packed up the stairs and to the garage. Thankfully I have two wonderful granddaughters who did most all the heavy lifting for me. I did this move in carloads until the last minute of moving the larger furnishings. And since it was local, I rather just threw stuff into boxes. It was all just rather a mess.
But the worse part has been the change that this move brings with it. For the past 2 years I have been living in a dual living situation with my youngest. It did take some time to get used to having 4 young children overhead and there were personality clashes with my daughter, but in the end it has been so positive. Now she is moving on to bigger and better things in another city, while my husband and I are staying here.
This brings up the feeling of loss as I face the ending of this special time. Once again I will be living a distance from my children and grandchildren. As the time has grown closer to the final move, the old companion of loss and endings has been knocking on my door and making itself present. It has come with the sadness of all the accumulated losses over the years; my parents, my brother, my loving pets, and a child moving across the ocean and one miles away in California. But this time I am better prepared to meet this companion. This time I have put a new lens on my glasses. For endings are really just new beginnings. Be it death or distance, those we love are always in our hearts.
Changing the mindset changes everything. Instead of sadness and loss there is the new horizon of possibilities and new adventures. My daughter’s move to Ireland opened the opportunity for extended visits and the possibility of living in Europe, a life long dream. This move will also bring new adventures as I will have a new city to visit and explore and memories to be made as we explore together. Moving into this mindset also had me preparing by cultivating a group of female friends and finding new activities to keep me involved and busy.
I find it fitting that these changes are coming at the time of Imbolc, the half way point between the winter solstice and the spring equinox. With Imbolc comes transformation and hope. As the earth begins to reawaken signs of spring begin to appear. With the long days of winter it is easy to lose sight of the new beginnings that follow. Just as when we are faced with loss, it is easy to lose sight of all that surrounds us. However, just as the earth needs a time of dormancy, so to do we when faced with endings and loss. If we listen to earth she can help us learn how to heal ourselves and find our way out of our own dark places.
Such a lovely reflection on the way change presents in our lives and how a shift in mindset opens up a world of possibility. XAmanda